Treadway's Dictionary of Bullshit, 1st Edition

Have you ever read the newspaper or watched television and noticed how certain words are either misused or just don't make any sense in the context in which they are used? If you're like me and bristle at these words that just won't go away or are completely misused, then you need Treadway's Dictionary of Bullshit, 1st Edition. In this post, we'll take a look at some words, especially pop culture terms, that have been completely abused in this thing we call the English language.

Here's a word that has been completely misused: hero. You always read and hear about someone being labeled a hero. The most flagrant misuse of the word came after 9/11. No, I'm not talking about the police and firefighters who lost their lives that horrible day. What I'm talking about is the misconception that just living in New York when 9/11 took place makes one a hero. You wouldn't believe how many times I was called a hero just because I was a New Yorker. Folks, just living in a state that withstood a terrorist attack does NOT make one a hero. I didn't go to Ground Zero to help out and rescue survivors. I didn't risk my life doing anything that day. I was home when it happened. That's where I stayed the entire day. I'm no hero. You want to know who is a hero? Someone who was on their way home but turned back around to offer help. That's a hero.

Same goes for the Times Square bombing attempt earlier this month. The vendors who saw the smoking car and went for help- heroes. The cop who was proclaimed as a hero despite doing what he was supposed to do normally as part of his job- not a hero.

Here's another full-of-shit pop culture word: bromance. This is one of those words that some cretin out there thought sounded cute and trendy. It is used to define a close friendship between two men. Is it so wrong to just say you have strong admiration for a fellow man? Because that's all a bromance really is: strong admiration. But no, we have to make everything sound trendy these days. Same goes for girl crush. I want to puke whenever I hear those words together. It means the same thing as bromance, except for women. What is wrong with saying the words "really solid friends" or "best friends" instead of all this cutesy shit?

Then there's mutual. As in "our break-up was mutual". Not true! One person always wants to break up more than the other in a failing relationship. And someone always initiates it. So how the hell could it be mutual?

Here's a word we've heard too much of. Change. Especially when it comes to politics. Believe me, if you hear a politician say the word change, your inner bullshit meter should be ringing off the charts. Change to them means changing the curtains at the State Capitol or raising their base salaries.

Metrosexual. It means a man who is straight but likes to keep a neat appearance with style and fashion. In other words, a guy who doesn't look like a slob when he goes out. Actually, metrosexual should be used to describe slobs since most metro areas around here are cluttered, sloppy and loaded with litter.

Going forward. What exactly does this mean? I think it's a euphemism for "If I use this, it'll sound like I want to change things for the better". This is especially popular with politicians, for whom bullshitting is second nature.